Users do not see you because they are too fixated on their own needs. You are not a valuable and separate individual, but a tool.
They will make you feel known and understood, but that is because they study you like a salesman studies a prospect. Instead of being fully accepted and loved, you are controlled for their interest.
Users do not bond or share for any reason other than to use you. Users won’t mean harm, but they are careless because they are selfish.
Users seek people who keep them on a pedestal. This is an unhealthy relationship that needs serious boundaries and support.
You are unseen, known and selfishly used.
If you are trying to change the dynamic in your relationship with a User, you can’t do it alone. You will need to get the help of someone who understands this kind of unhealthy cycle. Your User may be charming and skilled at shifting his responsibilities back to you. You will need a counselor who can see through this tactic and help you:
If your User is hell-bent on not participating in the healthy transformation of your relationship, you will need routine individual support from counseling or groups to help you with your next steps. You may need the help of a therapist or trained pastor in communicating your boundaries and holding your partner accountable to their adherence.
Find out what kind of relationship you’re in,
and how to get the Love you want!