Keeping a marriage together, close and happy is the goal, but not always easy. If you are not feeling as close as you want to, and you feel like you’ve tried to improve closeness before with few results, you might start to feel helpless. However, you have more power to turn things around than you think.
I often tell my clients that relationships are a system- a change at any level of the system changes the whole system. Like a car engine, if we change out the battery, or the air filters, that change is going to affect the efficiency and performance of the whole engine. The key to changing the system is to find the pieces that are malfunctioning inside of yourself, before you go trying to fix the other person.
Closeness in a relationship starts with you. If your marriage is committed and safe, but distant, look at the following chart to find the pieces inside yourself that you can change for healthy functioning.
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Need more in depth help to get to healthy emotional intimacy? Here is a resource designed to help achieve healthier intimacy in relationships.
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